Talullah Jane

Sunday, I found out my Lulu ran away.

Not from Daddie.

Not from Sissy.

Not from The Bubs.

Not from their mom.

I found out from a lady at church that I don’t know very well.

I found out that she ran away THREE WEEKS AGO.

Nobody cared to tell me because they were hoping she’d come home and they would never have to tell me anything about it.

I was told to “cut her (their mom) some slack”, “I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by not telling me” and “she was really upset about it”. Not anything about the fact that my dog ran away or that they didn’t tell me. Just to cut her some slack because she knew it would upset me. Awesome, right?

I don’t care that I’ll be 23 in a couple of weeks. WHO DOESN’T TELL THEIR KID THAT THEIR DOG RAN AWAY? Seriously. I’ve had her for five and a half years. Did they think I wouldn’t notice she wasn’t there next time I went over.

I’m hurt, heart broken, pissed and disappointed in the fact that my own family can’t respect me enough to tell me my dog ran away.

I hope you have a nice big bed to sleep in and can be happy being an inside dog again. Nobody can love you as much as I did, but I hope they can come close.

I love you, Fattie.

Try Being Me

They say being in love is one of the greatest things
But you wouldn’t really know when you’ve only had flings
When people tell me there are other fish in the sea
I simply want to scream, “Try being me!”

I don’t have someone to simple adore
My Saturday nights always end up a bore
I don’t hear “I love you” or get goodnight kisses
Instead I lay in bed making wishes

Tall dark and handsome he doesn’t have to be
All he has to do is simply love me for me
I want sweet cards and silly texts
Not some guy who’s hollering, “Next!”

I may not be pretty; I’m awkward and shy
I just need someone willing to give it a try
If you take the time to know me, just wait and see
I promise you won’t want those other fish in the sea

F is for friends who do stuff together…

Papa had a retirement party to go to this morning that started before I had to be in class so he dropped me off at school early.  Two and a half hours early, to be exact.  I’m so okay with that though because it's not even noon yet and already I’ve studied for my test Monday, written part of my poem due Monday, read ahead for two classes and am about to start on assignments for my online class.

Being productive is awesome!  Whodathunkit?

Sitting here by myself though has me a bit bummed.  Everywhere I look people are talking to and hanging out with their friends.  When it comes to college, I don’t have any friends.  Not a one.  I’ll talk to someone in class if they speak to me, but I’m not one to make small talk.  I go to class, sit down and learn.  I’m not paying oodles of money to socialize, except I really do want to socialize.  It sucks to walk around and not know anyone. 

I have friends I talk to via Facebook, Twitter and what not, but as far as friend that I talk to in real life, on a regular basis, I have two.  They’re the only two friends who came to see me when I was in the hospital or even text me after to make sure I was okay.  They’re the only two who call me to hang out or who have come out to see me since I’ve moved.  And now they both have boys so I’m pretty sure I’ll be seeing and hearing form them a little less.

It really sucks because I know they have a life outside of being my friend, and I don’t expect them to drop everything and cater to my every need, but I’m so tired of being lonely.  I’m so over sitting at home on the weekends and not getting invited to go do things because I don’t have a car. 

I’m my own enemy in this situation, but I don’t know how to overcome it.  I tend to get along better with people who are older and more mature than most my age and college is a great place to find that if I could just get over myself.  My lack of self-esteem and self-confidence does nothing for me, yet I don’t know where to even begin in terms of fixing it.

I think the fear of rejection is what stands in my way the most.  I’ve been pushed down and bullied so much of my life, why would I put myself out there only to be turned down.  It’s much easier to keep my nose in a book or my phone and just not care.  Except I do.  I care a lot.  I don’t want to look back on my twenties only to realize that there was so much I missed out on because I was scared.

I know I’m weird and loud and clumsy, but I like to think I’m a good person.  I’ll go out of my way to help and friend and although that’s come back to bite me in the ass multiple times, I still do it because that’s just who I am.  Maybe I let people walk all over me too much and that’s my problem.  Correction.  I know I let people walk all over me too much and that is my problem. 

To ignore it all though and shove my feelings aside to avoid confrontation is so much easier.  But then things build up, people explode and friendships are forever ruined because you owe me this much money and you did this and this and why didn’t you do this?  It’s happened to me more times than I care to admit and I know I’m to blame for most of them.  That’s what hurts the most. Some of my favorite friendships are no more because I harbor my feelings and don’t know how to communicate.

Maybe I’m the common denominator here.  I don’t have friends because I’m not a good friend, but like I said, I’d like to think I’m a good friend.  Perhaps I’m only a partially good friend.  Yes, I’ll go out of my way to help and be there, but when it comes to the things that are supposed to hold a friendship together, I totally suck.

I find it easy to sit behind a screen and edit what I’m going to say before I publish or send it, but when it comes to an actual conversation with a real live human being?  Forget it.  I get nervous and twitchy and don’t know what to say so instead I ramble and make myself look like a fool.

The only thing stopping me is me and I’m thinking that it’s time for that to change.  It’s time for me to put myself out there and if I don’t make any friends, at least I’ll have tried.  I do weird things and talk about poop a lot.  I’m loud and tend to talk about inappropriate things at inappropriate times.  You can call me at midnight for directions and ask me questions about cars that I don’t know the answer to, but will look up on Google.  You may have to tell me a joke three times only for me to pretend I get it and bust out laughing ten minutes later when I really do get.

We could go out, eat at IHOP and end up heading to the beach at 4 AM only to find ourselves almost hitting a cow.*  Things won’t always be perfect and they won’t always be fun.  I’m sure I’ll say the wrong thing and accidently start and argument.  My feelings will get hurt and I’ll bust out in tears, but that’s just who I am.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Surely there’s someone out there who needs a little Katie in their life! 

*Just kidding.  That can only happen once.  At lest I’m pretty sure that can only happen once…

Netflix is my new BFF.

It is, hands down, the best $10 I spend a month.  The Bubs got an Xbox for Christmas so I ‘borrowed’ the Wii and have been curled up in bed reliving the first five season of drama at Seattle Grace.

I don’t have too much to say, so instead here are all the pictures that are sitting in my “Edited=DOSOMETHINGWITHTHESE” folder. 

 

Eggs*



Happy baby.

Laughing baby.

Sleeping baby.

Boom Boom and Zeke

Bam Bam

Pinkasaurus.

*And no, I didn’t do a Google image search for ‘egg collages’.  I actually took pictures of the eggs Nana and Papa brought back from the country.  I’m looking at you, BoomBoom!

Random Thoughts From Today

I slept for ten hours straight for the first time in a long time.

Sloppy Boudreaxs and croissants make amazing homemade hot pockets.

I had no idea what The Odyssey was about after reading it so I had to Google a summary.

It supposedly went from 64 degrees to 42 degrees in ten minutes.

I didn’t go outside all day so I don’t know if that’s true or not.

I did go outside about an hour ago. 

It’s 26, feels like 11 with 26 mph winds.

I always feel bad for homeless people when it gets so cold like this.

Say extra prayers for them, please!

There’s a rumor going around that it’s supposed to snow Friday WHICH.  IS.  AWESOME.

It IS Texas, so I’m not holding my breath.

It would be awesome to not have to go to class though.

Just sayin’.

While watching the RHOBH Reunion I saw previews for RHONYC, Bethenny Ever After and, I’m so excited for this one, RHOOC!

IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME, BRAVO!

I should probably go read a summary of The Odyssey again incase I have a quiz tomorrow.

That means I’ll be on Facebook for about 30 minutes, watch Grey’s and then read in the morning.

Which, by the way, HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS NETFLIX?!?

10$ a month for a ton of movies and shows, like the first 6 seasons of Grey’s.

Yes, please!

Okay, I’m done rambling.

Goodnight, peeps.

Stay warm.

Five Months

Tomorrow will be 5 months since I got in my wreck and lost my car.  FIVE.  MONTHS.  One, two, three, four, FIVE.  Five months since I picked up Tallulah from the vet and everything changed.  Five months of relying on others to take me places.  Five months of having to make sure someone’s schedule is clear when I need to run to Walgreen’s or the bank or supper with my friends or ANYWHERE.  I try not to think about it a lot, as it drives me absolutely insane.

Nana and Papa have gone above and beyond helping me out and taking me places and for that I am forever grateful.  Four months, four weeks and 2 days ago they pretty much changed everything and let me move in so they could take me to work and school until I got another car.  I honestly thought I’d have a car by now, but then again, I also thought I would still have a well paying job, but that’s another story for another day.

Tomorrow night some of my friends are getting together for dinner and karaoke and to celebrate one’s birthday.  I really want to go, but I have things I have to work out first.  How will I get there?  Where will I spend the night?  How will I get back home?  These are the things I have to think about these days.  This is my reality now.

Do I like it?  Absolutely not.  Is there anything I can do about it?  Not really.  Am I dealing with it?  For the most part.  Most days.  I didn’t plan for that girl to pull out in front of me.  I didn’t plan for my car to crumble the way it did.  Nobody wakes up one day and says, “You know, I think I’m going to total my car today.”  Well, most people anyway.

I’m thankful I have who love me and help me out.  I’m grateful Tallulah was okay.  I’m thankful the people in the other five cars were okay.  I’m thankful that I’m okay.  I know it could have been a lot worse and I try to remind myself that every day.  Even more when I have days like I did Monday where all I want to do is feel sorry for myself.  A lot of things change when the freedoms you’ve had from having a car for four years are taken away from you in an instant.

I want to hate the girl that cut me off with every fiber of my being, but that’s not who I am.  I just don’t have it in me.  It angers me that she didn’t have that much damage to her car and that even though she admitted she pulled in front of me, I hit her from behind a few seconds after she hit the four cars in front of her and yeah it was legally my fault.

I know I’m more than blessed.  I may not have a car but I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, I’m in school, I have friends and family that love me and so much more.  All I have to do is look back at pictures of my car and even though I get furious about what happened, I know that the angels were busy that day because I not only walked away, I only had a few bruises.

Yes I get mad and sad and frustrated and when I do, I just remind my self that everything will happen in His time; I have no control over any of it.  If anything this has been one big, long, huge lesson in patience and I don’t think I’m anywhere near having finished learning it.  Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t know what that reason is.

Weird Staple Girl

Today was the first day of classes.  Me being me, forgot my paper at home telling me where my classes were.  Luckily I knew who my Psychology instructor was and stalked passed her in the hall and followed her to my room.  Nana went home and text me the room number for World Lit. Which, yeah. 

We had to introduce ourselves and tell the class a little bit about us.  Most people said their name and what theire major was and left it at that.  Um, not me.

“Hi, I’m Katie.  I’m 22.  I didn’t think I’d get to come to school this semester because two weeks ago Friday, I had emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed before it exploded.  I like photography and  I am leaving straight from class to head to the doctor to have my staples removed.  I have seventeen.  They’re quite itchy.  *Pause* Um, I tend to overshare sometimes.  Sorry.”

Pretty sure they think I’m some weird staple girl now.

When the nurse was removing my staples, she found three hidden in my belly button.  This means I had 20 staples instead of 17.  I was so excited.  I made the nurse count to make sure.  Odd numbers suck.  I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m some weird staple girl, too.

Huh.  Weird staple girl.  That may make a good username one day…

I can’t believe I haven’t posted all year!

Which now that I look back, I’ve actually posted twice.  Two times that I don’t remember posting.  Seriously it was like reading it for the first time.  Hello, Vicodin!

As I said, I had a doctor’s appointment set up for next Friday to get a referral for a surgeon to get my gall bladder removed.  Yeah, well my gall bladder had other plans.  Thursday morning about 3:30, I started having another attack.  I took the pain pills they sent me home from the ER with and pretty much slept all day.  (Other than the 4 times I was up dry heaving.)  I was going to just wait it out until my appointment the next day until I looked at my paper from the ER and it said to return immediately if I started throwing up or the pain got worse.

So, I showered, put on fresh jammies, packed a bag just in case they decided to admit me and headed back to the ER.  At first there was a wait, but it’s amazing how fast people move when you tell them you’re having severe chest pains!  They got me back to a room, gave me some Morphine (Sweet Baby Jesus!  Best.  Thing.  Ever.) and did another ultra sound.

They decided that it was too much of a risk to wait and that I was going to be admitted so they could do surgery Friday and get my gall bladder out before it exploded.  Cool, huh?

The doctor came back and talked me through everything and, I blame it on the Morphine, but I asked if he was the surgeon because his name scared me and I didn’t want him anywhere near my gall bladder because I didn’t know what he’d do with it.

His name was Dr. Stephen King.

I’m too sexy for my gall bladder. 
Too sexy for my gall bladder. 
So sexy it huuurts.

I got to my room just as the sun was coming up and dozed in and out of sleep as Nana left and Melissa came to keep me company so I wouldn’t be alone.  (I know that was a huge deal for you and I appreciate everything you did so, so much!)

I was told that I would have surgery that day, they just didn’t know what time yet so they’d come up and let me know.  They lied.  About 10:00 they came to get me to sign papers and then told me they were ready to wheel me up to surgery.  I FREAKED out and started crying.

Nana wasn’t there.  Daddie was in the middle of an appointment with Dr. Asshat* and Momma was at work tying up loose ends so she could come stay with me.  Melissa was there and although she is one of my best friends, I wanted an adult there.  I was scared. 

I did laugh a bit though when the nurses eyed each other and asked who she was.  I’m 99.9% sure they thought we were gay.

They took me to surgery and I made them wait until I saw Nana before I went back.  They explained everything to me, Nana showed up, I met with the anesthesiologist and my surgeon and then they gave me a shot of something. 

Right before I started speaking Spanish.

Next thing I remember is being in the recovery room, poking the nurse every few minutes and asking, “I’m alive?  Are you sure?  I don’t want to be dead and think I’m alive.”

I spent the next 24 hours sleeping on and off and getting Morphine whenever I could.  That stuff is the shit, I tell you.  I came home Saturday and have been recovering since.  Vicodin is my best friend (Morphine is my BFF) when it comes to pain.  I normally take one and sleep, but today I was brave and took one before I went to register for classes.  People watch got a lot more fun when it kicked in.

I have 17 staples and it makes me mad.  It couldn’t have been 16 or 18 to make me happy.  Sigh.  I get them removed next week.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, comments, tweets and visitors!  They mean the world.  And worked!  Also, may apologizes to Momma for hollering, “Bitch, please!  This isn’t apple juice!” when she unknowingly handed me unsalted beef broth.

I have a week to rest up until school starts and then it’s back to normal, I guess.  Whatever that may be.

*Three years ago I had kidney stones and went to the ER.  They told me that I had gall stones, too, and needed to check with my PCP about them.  I went and he told me that I didn’t have any, he didn’t know what they were talking about and that the pain I was having were anxiety attacks.  Turns out every time I’ve had an “anxiety attack” the past three years, I’ve really been having a gall bladder attack. 

I had a lot of plans for 2011.

Things that included blogging and pictures and reading and a lot of other things besides being propped up in the corner of my bed sleeping and watching Twilight True Blood The Vampire Diaries.

I have a doctor’s appointment set for Friday afternoon and they’ll decide what happens from there.  Until then I guess I’ll pretend it’s still 2010 and start my own version of 2011 as soon as I get all of this behind me.

Thanks to everyone fro the wall postings, calls, texts, comments and all around well wishes.  They really do mean the world to me.

The Other Papa

I call both of my grandfathers Papa so for the sake of not confusing people anymore than I do, they’ll now be known as Momma’s Papa and Daddie’s Papa.

I got a text today about Daddie’s Papa.  He had a surgery scheduled for his shoulder and the prep tests ended up showing three major artery blockages.  As soon as they can make sure all the Plavix is out of his system, probably Friday, they’re going to preform a triple bypass.

Momma’s Papa is living proof of the power of prayer so any positive thoughts and prayers you can send up for him are much needed and greatly appreciated!

Daddie and his girlfriend drove down to Corpus today to be with him so I should be getting fairly regular updates, but we’re just a little freaked out.  He came to town less than a week ago for Christmas and now this.  Oh, well.  Positive thoughts only!

How to Add Text to a Video

Momma shared my video on her blog and some of her readers asked how I added the text to my video so I made this video to show you how.  I apologize for the rambling, snorts and the fact that I sound like a man.  I wore flip flops Christmas Eve and was freezing my butt off Christmas Day.  Gotta love Texas weather.

Anywho, without further adieu, here’s my first attempt at ever showing someone how to do anything.

I hope that helps and you can actually follow it!  If not, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

‘Tis the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  Here’s to full bellies, safe travels, plentiful gifts and enjoyable family time.

I’ll probably get a lot of crap for this.

I used to love Christmas. Decorations! Lights! PRESENTS! I loved coming home from the late candle light service at church. It was already Christmas and I went to bed knowing that Santa was on his way and I’d wake up soon to find presents under the tree and cookies eaten.

I know Christmas isn’t about the presents and Santa. It’s about Jesus’ birthday and family, but the Santa part is a nice little perk. At least it used to be.

I stopped really enjoying Christmas when I got into high school. I’ll admit that if we had get togethers I might like it a little more, but when your parents are divorced and your family isn’t as close as most, once the opening of presents is done, there really isn’t much more to do for the rest of the day.

I’m the only child between my parents and the oldest of four between my dad and his ex-wife. Growing up, they didn’t make ridiculous amounts of money, be we had what we needed and come Christmas and birthdays, we got a little something extra. now they’re divorced and my dad makes more money that he ever has, which means the kids get more for Christmas now than I ever could have imagined. I realize life isn’t fair and that’s jut how things work, but it still sucks.

I am an adult now and I don’t expect to get as many presents as I used to, but just because “I’m grow and should be out on my own” doesn’t mean that it hurts any less.

As I sit here, The Bubs is complaining that Daddie owes him money for some toys that were left at Daddie’s ex-fiancée's house. Never mind the fact that it’s been almost a year since he’s seen them and they’ll just sit in his room, rarely being touched. Daddie owes him the money because they were left over there.

He gets more for one Christmas than me and my two sisters ever got growing up and he takes that for granted. All I asked Daddie for this Christmas was an Epiphanie bag. I realize that, yes, it is a lot of money, but I’m okay with this being my only present. What bothers me is that The Bubs is asking for an Xbox for Christmas and Daddie keeps reminding me that I asked for such an expensive gift.

I’m older than the youngest kids. I know that. I’m okay with that. I’m not okay with the fact that they get spoiled beyond belief when it comes to Christmas and I get the short end of the stick.

I don’t want to come across as ungrateful or whiny, because I know there’s more to life than how many presents are under the tree come Christmas morning and I’m grateful to even have a tree to put presents under.

Just because I’m older and don’t believe in Santa anymore thought doesn’t mean that it hurts any less when I get a few presents and The Youngins are opening present after present after present.

The joy in Christmas gets taken away when you spend most of the morning fighting back tears because your feelings are so hurt.

To Whom It May Concern:

As one of my last assignment in Political Science, we had to write a letter to an elected official expressing our opinion on something we feel needs to be changed or praising things that have been changed.  I chose the first of the two. 

The following is a letter I wrote to my Congressman on behalf of my uncle’s fiancée:

 

December 06, 2010

The Honorable Ted Poe
United States House of Representatives
430 Cannon House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-4302

Dear Representative Poe:

I am writing this letter to raise awareness on Diabetes. Specifically continuous glucose monitoring systems (CGMS) and the lack of support our health care system has given it. I come from a family that is well aware of Diabetes. Both my mother and grandfather are Type II Diabetics. My uncle's fiancée is a Type 1 Diabetic. She is highly susceptible to low blood sugar and tolerant of it as well, which is a dangerous combination. Sometimes, she doesn't know her sugar is low until it is so low she loses consciousness. Because of this she cannot work and is on disability which leads to her receiving Medicaid benefits.

Having been diagnosed at a young age she has learned to deal with the ups and downs that come with the high and low blood sugars. Recently her blood sugar dropped while she was home alone and left her unconscious for a good amount of time before my uncle came home from work. This led to her being in the hospital for twelve days. Soon after she came home, she checked her blood sugar level before lunch and it was normal. When she checked it after lunch, around 12:15 PM, it was in the 200s (normal range is 70-150) so she was given some insulin. Two hours later she was sitting in my living room telling me how she didn't remember any of her hospital stay. She suddenly got quiet and started shaking. I asked if she was okay and she didn't respond. Normally a few sips of juice pulls it back up and she is fine. This time, she was still not responding when we talked to her. After checking her blood sugar we knew why, it had plummeted to a dangerous 20. It took a whole bottle of juice and three glucose tablets to pull her back up into the 50s, which is still dangerous, but made her capable of responding to us.

She wears an insulin pump and that helps her out some, but it is not enough. Her doctor has suggested that she could highly benefit from a CGMS. A CGMS is a device that continuously checks ones blood sugar levels. A sensor is placed right under the skin where the blood sugar is checked every 10 seconds and sends the information to the device. The device then automatically records an average of the readings every five minutes, up to 288 times a day. If levels are too high or too low, users can be alerted and act accordingly. As with most medical equipment, the CGMS comes with a high price tag. The pump itself costs around $6,000 with the remote being around $600. That is just the hardware, however. After the pump and remote, the CGMS disposable sensors are around $50 each and are only worn for three days before being thrown away. Pump supplies run about $200 a month before insulin. Because of the monthly expenses being so high, CGMS are considered "precautionary" and are not covered.

If she were to get a CGMS she could become a productive member of society again. She could get a job and therefore be able to stop receiving disability payments and if she were to find a job that offers their employees health care, she would no longer have a need to receive Medicaid benefits. Although CGMS are costly, the possibility of her losing consciousness could have been eliminated. The pump could have alerted her that her levels were getting low and she could have acted upon it. That in return would have kept her out of the hospital and I am fairly certain that the cost of supplying her with the "precautionary" CGMS is far less than the amount of money spent running tests and keeping her in the hospital for twelve days.

Any positive awareness that could be brought to the situation would only help. A CGMS is not necessary to live, but as "precautionary" as it may seem, the benefits and services it offers to its users can ultimately save their lives. I thank you for your time and hope that with the future changes to our health care system some of them can be positive ones and benefit those who need it.

Sincerely,

Katie B.

Now whether or not this will help, I don’t know, but it’s a start.  I used to think people were weird for writing letter/emailing politicians.  Now I know that if enough people do it, and do it correctly, that change can happen.  Nothing changes overnight, but we can start small and work our way up.  That’s what we elected the for in the first place, isn’t it? 

School. Holidays. Pictures. Change. January.

It’s raining outside.  That hard, loud, makes you want to curl up and nap rain.  I’m glad there’s a cold front coming in, I just wish it would stay cold for more than 5 days.  I seriously should not be wearing flip flops when tomorrow is December 1st.

School has been kicking my butt.  It’s a good thing, but I’m so glad that I have two finals December 8th and 10th, a case study due December 13th and then I’M DONE!  Thank heavens.

Thanksgiving was quite nice this year.  No drama and my uncle is ‘working on his people skills’ and was extra nice to me.  I’m happy to say that he’s come a long way from barking at me when I was a little kid!  (Yes, I said barking.  My family is a strange one, I know.)

This is a lot of random thoughts and for the 7 of you that read this, welcome to my world.  I do apologize.

I wanted so badly to finish that 30 Day Blog Challenge, but I don’t know.  It got kind of boring.  I’m a little unhappy with myself that I didn’t finish it, but I’m okay with it, too.  I lasted a lot long than I though I was going to.  I think I posted more this month than I ever have.

My cousin is getting married Saturday and I’m the photographer.  I’m so nervous, but excited nonetheless.  I bought my camera with the intention of taking pictures and making a little extra money here and there, so this is perfect.  I’m not letting her pay me since she’s my cousin, but you get the point.

I may post some pictures of the wedding next week, but other than that I think I’m going to lay low until January.  I have finals to study for, classes to register for, Christmas is coming up and I have two and a half more seasons of True Blood to watch.  (Like Lost and Twilight, I’m jumping on the band wagon a wee late.)

I have some ideas that I want to turn into a reality and I think January is the perfect time to do so.  It gives me time to get all my ducks in a row and what better way to start off the new year than with change.

So to sum things up.  School.  Holidays.  Pictures.  Change.  January.

See you then, folks!

What to say about my best friend?

I really don’t think there are enough words for how much I love my best friend.  She’s my better half.  I can tell her anything and everything, which I basically do, without fear of being judged.

We’ve been friends on and off since 5th grade.  Life has gotten in the way and we’ve lost touch, but we’ve always found a way to find each other again.  I thought that this time it was going to be different and that we weren’t going to be able to go back to the way things were.  We didn’t.  Things are so much better this time around.  Blame is on age or maturity or whatever you want.  I blame it on our awesomeness.

We laugh about the stupidest things and know how to take a joke.  We don’t always think alike, but I think that’s what makes us work.  We’re the same in the places that are most important and the things that are opposite about us are the things that compliment each other. 

She’s the first person I can call when I have a bad day and need to be cheered up.  The first person I can call when I have exciting news.  She’s the first person I can call for everything!

People tell me I’m weird, loud and awkward. She tells me I’m friendly and know how to have a good time.  People say things, things that are mean and cruel, but not her.  She sees the good in me when I can’t and loves me flaws and all, which is a rarity these days.

I can guarantee that if one of us were a male, we’d get married and live happily ever after.  We’ll just have to settle on finding husbands that can handle us and the fact that they’ll be number 1.5!

I don’t know where I’d be today had she not sent me that friend request and I mean that.  Life is so much easier when you know all you have to do is pick up the phone and have someone like her on the other line.

Boom Boom, I love you like I love my family.  You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I’m so glad you came back into my life when you did.  You’re the apple of my eye.  The peanut to my butter, er, cookie to my monster since you’re allergic.  (Wow that sounds dirty!)  You really are my better half.

I can’t to find husbands, buy houses next door to each other and be the house wife who takes care of the kids while you and our husbands go make the money.

I don’t know of many people who would put up with me like you do.

Good morning, love!  My butt just had a miscarriage.  It was yours.  Sorry we can’t be mothers together and corrupt our poop baby.

Lmao.  Oh, Katie Kate I love waking up to your texts.

If only for the above reason alone, you can never leave me again!

Ifly,
@Katie Kate

Art

I took Art Appreciation my first semester of college, so you'd think that this would be easy, but it isn't. I spent a good while searching through endless pieces, but couldn't really find one that I loved. Starry Night is a good one, but everybody likes that one. Water-Lilies reminds me of Titanic; Boquet of Sunflowers, Mona Lisa Smile.

Art isn't just paintings though. It's sculptures and drawings and pictures and anything you want it to be! One of my all time favorite photographs is V-J Day in Times Square.




I want it blown up and hung above my bed when I get my own house. It just screams romance to me and I absolutely love it!

I’m lazy today.

I got a new bed that’s really comfy and I can’t wait to go to sleep.  I couldn’t decide on a story from my childhood. I was telling my friend this story the other day, so without further ado, stolen from Momma, I bring you the first time I broke the law.

Katiebug's dad and I did not have the most amicable divorce. With that being said, while we were going through this nasty process, then presidential candidate Bill Clinton was going to be at what was at the time Chennault Air Force base in Lake Charles, Louisiana and my mom was taking my Grandma to see him. Well, I decided there may not be another time that Katiebug would be able to see someone involved in the presidential race in such an up close manner, so we decided to make it a four-generation field trip.

When you are in the process of getting a divorce and are under orders that neither party is to take the child out of the jurisdiction of the judge, this means you cannot leave the state with said child. (Oops - strike one.)

Lake Charles is about an hour, hour & a half from Beaumont. Katiebug was 4 at the time. Four-year old bladders are not prone to being able to hold it for very long as has been well-documented over time. At some point, we definitely had to find a way for her to "pay her water bill" so I located the little girls room and headed off in that direction...only to be stopped by a Secret Service agent telling us that the area where the restrooms were located were off limits and that she would have to wait until they had cleared the area. Now this agent must not have had a child or been around many children because as we all know, when they have to go THEY HAVE TO GO! When you have a four-year old little girl who's been potty-trained since 18 months dancing around about to lose her ever loving mind because she HAS TO GO it's funny how it can change a person's stance regarding protocol. With that said, little Miss Katiebug made it to the restroom and was able to do her business, after which we went back to our seats.

Now everyone around us were holding signs as you can imagine and Miss Katie Scarlett did NOT want to be left out. My mom and I looked around and finally found an 8x10 piece of what appeared to be part of another sign and made her a little sign to hold. She said she wanted it to say "Texans for Clinton" and she waved it and waved it like it was an American flag.

Remember how I said we weren't supposed to leave the jurisdiction of the judge? Well, guess what precious little 4-year old with the biggest red, white & blue hair bow you'd ever seen ended up all all three local news stations in Beaumont and CNN that night. Katiebug you say?...yep, you'd be right. (Oops - strike two.)

Thank goodness her father was a Clinton supporter at the time or else I might have been able to determine if orange really isn't my color as I've long suspected.

Luckily, the only other time I’ve been involved with the law has been because of speeding tickets. 

Regrets

I don't regret much. I feel that living with them is a waste of time and energy. That being said, I do have a few. They're mainly things that I didn't say or times that I didn't stand up for myself. I tend to let people walk all over me and belittle me at times. While this happens I have so many things that run through my head. Things I could do. Things I could say. The fear of confrontation stops me in my tracks, however, and I accept the lashes of name calling and using and verbal abuse.

I know that I shouldn't allow this to happen and that I need to stand up for myself, and I'm slowly learning how to do this, but I just don't like hurting other people's feelings. I like for everyone to be happy and there to me no animosity in between. I've even gone as far as accepting the blame for something that was not at all my fault to begin with and apologizing because it's easier that we. We put it past us and move on.

Take the whole situation with Daddie. We got in this huge fight and went from seeing/talking to each other everyday to not speaking for almost 6 weeks. What was the fight about? I really can't tell you, to be honest. All I know is now he's back to asking me advice about women and sending me texts with what most people would deem inappropriate language between a father and daughter. (Read: It's the FUCKING Catalina Wine Mixer!)

Did we talk about what happened? No. Did we apologize to each other? Nope. We just pretended like it didn't happen and moved on. Not the healthiest way to deal with my problems, but it's soo much easier. We don't have to get into the whole 'tell me how this makes you feel' conversations.

Another example would be this evening. Papa came to pick me up from church (10 weeks and 5 days sans car, but who's counting?) and as we were three blocks away The Bubs mom calls. She's running late and wants to know if I can go pick up Bubs and meet her some..... her phone dies. I kid you not. We sat at the church for a bit and finally after 15 minutes decide to go way across town to drop him off at home, before making the 25 minute trip back to our house. Why did I agree to this? Well for starters, I love my brother and am not about to leave him at a place where a man was shot and killed a week ago. Number two, she knows that she can call and I'll stop what I'm doing to help because I love him. I don't mind helping, at all, I just feel like I'm being taken advantage of at times.

Oy. A therapist would have so much fun with me, wouldn't they?